Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
