i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize