I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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