I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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