I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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