so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
