My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
