oh god the rape fog is back!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
