the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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