are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
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ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
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Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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