If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
