Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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