I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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