thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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