Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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