Are we in a gay sports bar?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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