I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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