the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize