I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
