you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
