I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
