guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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