You're so nebulous sometimes
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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