I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize