the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
