K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
