Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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