K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
