Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
