he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
