Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
