I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
