i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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