I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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