Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
