I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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