You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
