I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
