I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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