You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
