You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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