she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
