Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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