Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
