A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
