It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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