I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
