Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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