The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
