the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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