u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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