She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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