can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
