Having a random hookup so left but love u
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
