you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
