that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
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Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
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So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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