"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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