so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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