I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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