Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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