Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
