i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
