I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
