marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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