I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
