just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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