i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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