how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
