My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
